We had decided to take a break after our last fail in June where we had transferred our last 2 'normal' and 'balanced' embryos which did not implant correctly. We were physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. So much money spent and still no baby on the way or in our arms.
I began teaching 4th grade in mid-September and was under a huge amount of stress with the various issues that I had in my classroom. My stress level was not conducive to anyone let alone an infertile wanting so badly to conceive. We waited until February to get me the insurance that would allow for IVF coverage in Illinois. I began to see a new RE who seemed all about testing me and really getting to the bottom of what was causing our failures and just lack my of becoming pregnant in general.
In mid-April I went in for 20 different blood tests (you name it, we've been tested for it at this point), and I took a Glucose test to rule out diabetes etc. Everything came back excellent except for the MTHFR gene mutation. Though this is not a HUGE issue, couple the problem with having a balanced translocation and you have an increased risk for miscarriage, blood clots, preeclampsia etc. Basically we learned that my body does not process FOLIC ACID. All this time Im shoving additional folic acid pills down my trap thinking it was helping, yet I was wrong.
My new doctor created an IVF protocol adding Lovenox and baby Aspirin as well as special prenatal and B6 vitamins. I was hesitant to start another round thinking I could not possibly handle more failure, loss, disappointment etc.
But plans change sometimes. About a week after being diagnosed with MTHFR and getting a plan in place for our next round of IVF I ended up in the emergency room. I was lightheaded, my heart was pounding, I was seeing spots and sparks and feeling exhausted. I was admitted right away and told that my heart arrhythmia was happening every other beat. Basically my pulse was 35. A normal persons pulse who is in shape and healthy is between 60-100BPM. I was really struggling and was told I would need surgery the next day (either to have a pace maker or what's called Ablation). We spent the night researching and making sense of everything and in the AM decided that the Ablation would be a good thing and would help me to feel better.
This is where everything gets CRAZY. The next morning I ate my broth and watched HGTV all morning waiting for my instructions and for my afternoon heart surgery. The doctor finally came in and told me they were having technical difficulties with their machine that performs the ablation and that they would have to put it off possibly until the next day or later. I was able to eat real food and rest as Roger sat next to me through the night once again.
The next day came and once again I was told that the surgery would not be able to be performed because the technical difficulties ( which might I add only happen once every 10 years) were not fixed. The doctor believed I would be OK waiting and gave me some natural remedies to deal with all of the symptoms until my surgery which was now scheduled for May 7th.
I went home for a few days, nearly passing out or falling over from walking up and down stairs, falling asleep at 7pm every night and drinking tons and tons of Gatorade. On Monday we went back to the ER because my symptoms had worsened. We hoped that this would get me into the surgery quicker. However, they admitted me and tried me on several different Beta Blockers ( which do not work on me). Over the next 3 nights I spent my time barely being able to get out of bed because I was so lightheaded and dizzy from my extremely low blood pressure and heart arrhythmia. I literally spent 3 nights in the Cardiac Intensive Care unit with 70+ year olds and they still were not able to move my surgery up.
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| Hospital food at its finest |
Roger and I felt completely deflated. No surgery, continued symptoms, medicine that was counterproductive and a postponed IVF. I was discharged and told to be back in 2 weeks for my surgery. I wore compression socks, drank Gatorade and slept a lot. I did return to work because I had no more sick days and didn't want to get fired. I struggled through 2 weeks in hopes that the surgery would be the fix.
On May 6th, 2015 I received the long awaited call with instructions for the surgery. She let me know time to arrive, what to wear and what to expect. She also told me that I would have to take a urine pregnancy test before the surgery as they cannot sedate someone newly pregnant. Anyone who has gone through infertility knows that those stupid tests are like the nail in the coffin, it hurts to see a negative no matter how many times you pee on a stick. Whose with me?
I was headed home when I got the call but decided to pick up dinner for Roger and I and while I was at it I figured I would save myself the pain of dealing with it in front of the people tomorrow and pick up a pregnancy test today.
Target has been my place to purchase pregnancy tests for up words of 5 years. I purchased my test and decided to get it over with in the bathroom there. No need to get Rogers hopes up at home. I went in and did my business and this is what I saw:
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| It looked much darker and less blurry when I did it. But there it was a surprise miracle positive pregnancy test right there before my eyes in the Target bathroom. |
I grabbed Rogers burrito from Chipotle and tried to think through the complete shock to figure out a way to share this AMAZING news with Roger. For years I had waited to share a complete surprise with the one person who stood by me whole heartedly thru 5 years of Hell. In my quick thinking and total numbness with my new found surprise I decided wrapping the positive test in the burrito was definitely the way to go.
When I got home I pulled out the burrito and put it down in front of Roger and said " This better be the best burrito you ever had." He laughed, unwrapped his dinner and found the surprise of a lifetime. We cried and hugged and starred straight ahead wondering how this had happened to us.
The next day I called and let the surgeon know I was pregnant. My surgery is postponed until after pregnancy and I will follow up every month during pregnancy going forward.
Beta 1: 4 Weeks 4 Days ( day after I got a BFP): 1917
Progesterone : 26
Beta 2: 5 Weeks 1 Day: 5701
Progesterone: 56
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| Clear Blue 3+ Weeks Indicator ( got this result at 5 weeks 3 days pregnant) |
I also want to add that I wake up every morning realizing this is real, checking and rechecking my symptoms, watching and rewatching our ultrasound videos and continually having to reassure myself that this time is different. 5 years, 4 miscarriages, 3 failed IVF transfers with PGD tested embryos and a very slim chance of a healthy pregnancy without IVF because of the balanced translocation.
I feel so excited and humbled to share this with the blogging world. I never thought this day would come for us. I know that reading these posts can be really difficult for those still struggling through this horrible journey, I hope that this will give you hope that miracles do happen.
I have struggled to open up about this whole pregnancy and have kept everything to myself and my family. But today I am 11 weeks 1 day and everyday it gets easier to share and believe it is a going to be ok.
More posts to come to share photos, ultrasound updates and symptoms from the past several weeks.
Thanks for being a part of our journey.
